I stopped decorating the house for Christmas back in 2000, with the exception of one wreath on the door. My workplace is Christmas Central, so it does not bother me to come home to a Christmas-free home.

When I did decorate, the decorations went up on Dec. 15 and came down on Jan. 6.

I need some info about anti-keylogging software. Anybody have any good information and links?

I went into Sams Club, which, in spite of its very utilitarian appearance, is a real treasure trove of monster-size goodies, with little gems that I snap up when I find them. I get great clothes and food there, and have purchased electronics there, too.

So, there I was, oozing around the computers when I heard a very compelling piece of music. It was coming from the keyboard area.

I had to go and look, and got sucked into the orbit of a lovely Yamaha digital grand piano. Oh, this was a sweet instrument. It had great voices, realistic keyboard feel, tons of features, and it was only $498. Last year it was $800.

Waaaaaant.

I don't read music. I am not much of a musician, and play by ear only. I'd like to take lessons and learn. And I have that fancy Cakewalk software I want to play with, but don't have a keyboard to control it.

I know where it will live- there's a space in my living room for it. It comes with a bench and stand. And a sustain pedal, too.

The flat-panel TV I'm considering is about the same price. I can wait on that- three more months and I'll have my tax refund in hand.

And I am also thinking about taking a second part=time job as a night-server at a local Italian restaurant. My family knows that family, so I'd probably get it if I wanted it. That could get me extra money for goodies like this.

It's funny how things like this happen- I didn't think I wanted anything special for Xmas- and that Yamaha has to rear its comely head.

*sigh* Waaaaant.

liz_marcs posted in her journal about the neglect of female veterans, and what Congress plans to do- or not:

Most of the people on the phone are asking questions I would ask, so I was just going to listen to the answers, when a question popped into my head:

Female veterans. Namely, lack of services for female veterans within the VA system itself.

I have a relative that runs a homeless veterans shelter and he's felt that he lacks the resources to help female veterans. THis, with Iraq and Afghanistan bringing in a lot more female veterans than past conflicts. Also, [info]ginmar, herself a veteran of Iraq has mentioned this issue in her journal.

So, yeah. I hit him with the question: There are a lack of services for female veterans. I know people experiencing this first hand. Can you do anything about this?

There was a little bit of a "Humina, humina, humina" when I asked. *evil smile*

But, and this is the important bit here, I'm the first person to bring up the issue of female veterans to him. Period. Amen.

He acknowledged that the VA is under stress across the board. I also definitely got the sense that the idea that female veterans might require different services from their male counterparts was not an idea that actually crossed his mind. To be fair, the female moderator seemed to be taken aback by the question when I put my question into the queue as well, so I suspect that this simply isn't an issue too many people even think about, male or female.

According to Congressman Capuano is that a big part of the problem is simply that there doesn't appear to be a whole lot of information out there. (Keep in mind, this is the first time Congressman Capuano had even been asked about services for female veterans.)

Although he was very receptive to getting more information about the issue, the problem is getting the information to him (or to any congressman/senator who might be willing to do something about it, really) from a reliable source with hard data.

I understand that lack of hard data. When I was assaulted in my own home off base by a neighbor, I was not asked to fill out any incident report, or go see a counselor. No, my first sergeant told me that my problem was due to the fact that I was a 'fallen woman' and wasn't chummy with Jesus. His solution was to pray over me. I had to go to the German police to get the resolution I needed, which very nearly created an international incident.

Sigh... and that was just ONE thing that I had to deal with. I worked just as hard as anyone, was probably smarter than most, but was always treated like a second class citizen- due to both my marital status (single) and my gender. And that was while I served. It was even worse when I got out. No real outbound counseling. No departing physical exam. No VA references.

The VA doesn't know how to deal with us. They miss so many opportunities to do a better job. ginmar's misadventures with the VA are a classic case in point. And it isn't just that- female veterans do not have homeless services- there are no facilities for them. The VA doesn't know how to deal with us- it's either wait forever, or it's all in our heads.

No, it isn't. My physical injuries are very real, and as the years pass, they are not getting any better. My mental injuries are pretty much 'all in my head'. I don't look or act 'sick'. So I must be OK, right? Sigh...

I have a hat my dad got me at the BX a year or two ago. It's one of those fancy veteran's baseball caps, but the patch on mine reads 'Dysfunctional Veteran: Leave Me Alone". I rarely wear it, because it hits too damn close to home. "Just Barely Functional" might be closer to the truth. I function. Mostly.

Maybe that's the problem. Not a big enough data set, not enough war stories and input from female vets, no 'hard' evidence, because of cases like mine which were pretty much swept under the rug so that when they were audited, they wouldn't have any messy personnel incidents to explain or follow up on.

Hard data. Good luck in getting it, y'all. Can we trust you to actually do something good with it? I mean, really?

I'm not an entitlement-poisoned citizen, but I've been living in or very near poverty since I got out. I have not been able to rise to my true level of ability because of things that happened to me while serving- things that still harm me even today. I truly fear becoming some muttering bag-lady on the street somewhere. This is a very real fear, since the homeless population is still heavily salted with veterans- both male and female.

I just want to be treated like a human being. And I'd like my benefits that I believe are my right- and I don't care what I was told when I got out- I was honorably discharged. I served during Desert Storm. I put up, shut up, and got screwed up in spite of my efforts to cope.

They owe me. Big time.

I'm going to make this- not today, but soon:

Skillet Apple Pie

Apple pie is an essential dish for Thanksgiving, yet it's perhaps the hardest dessert to master: making two layers of pie crust; getting flavor into the apples; making the filling sliceable but tasty; making the bottom crust crispy instead of soggy. Here's our quick and easy answer to the Apple Pie Problem. This recipe takes less than an hour to make, is foolproof and actually tastes better than the real thing (at least we think so).

Ingredients

* Crust 1 cup unbleached all-purpose flour (5 ounces), plus more for dusting work surface
* 1 tablespoon sugar
* 1/2 teaspoon table salt
* 2 tablespoons vegetable shortening, chilled
* 6 tablespoons (3/4 stick) cold unsalted butter, cut into 1/4-inch pieces
* 3/4 tablespoons ice water
* Filling 1/2 cup apple cider (see note)
* 1/3 cup maple syrup
* 2 tablespoons fresh lemon juice from 1 lemon
* 2 teaspoons cornstarch
* 1/8 teaspoon ground cinnamon (optional)
* 2 tablespoons unsalted butter
* 2 1/2 pounds sweet apples and tart apples (about 5 medium), peeled, cored, halved and cut into 1/2-inch-thick wedges (see note)
* Pie 1 egg white, lightly beaten
* 2 teaspoons sugar
* Makes 6 to 8 servings

Instructions

1. For the crust: Pulse flour, sugar and salt in food processor until combined. Add shortening and process until mixture has texture of coarse sand, about ten 1-second pulses. Scatter butter pieces over flour mixture and process until mixture is pale yellow and resembles coarse crumbs, with butter bits no larger than small peas, about ten 1-second pulses. Transfer mixture to medium bowl.

2. Sprinkle 3 tablespoons ice water over mixture. With blade of rubber spatula, use folding motion to mix. Press down on dough with broad side of spatula until dough sticks together, adding up to 1 tablespoon more ice water if dough does not come together. Turn dough out onto sheet of plastic wrap and flatten into 4-inch disk. Wrap dough and refrigerate 30 minutes, or up to 2 days, before rolling out. (If dough is refrigerated longer than 1 hour, let stand at room temperature until malleable.)

3. For the filling: Adjust oven rack to upper-middle position (between 7 and 9 inches from heating element) and heat oven to 500 degrees. Whisk cider, syrup, lemon juice, cornstarch, and cinnamon (if using) together in medium bowl until smooth. Heat butter in 12-inch heatproof skillet over medium-high heat. When foaming subsides, add apples and cook, stirring 2 or 3 times until apples begin to caramelize, about 5 minutes. (Do not fully cook apples.) Remove pan from heat, add cider mixture and gently stir until apples are well coated. Set aside to cool slightly.

4. To assemble and bake: Roll out dough on lightly floured work surface, or between 2 large sheets of plastic wrap, to 11-inch circle. Roll dough loosely around rolling pin and unroll over apple filling in pan. Brush dough with egg white and sprinkle with sugar. With sharp knife, gently cut dough into 6 pieces by making 1 vertical cut followed by 2 evenly spaced horizontal cuts (perpendicular to first cut). Bake until apples are tender and crust is a deep golden brown, about 20 minutes. Let cool 15 minutes; serve.

5. Notes: If your skillet is not heatproof, precook the apples and stir in the cider mixture as instructed, then transfer the apples to a 13-by-9-inch baking dish. Roll out the dough to a 13-by-9-inch rectangle, place on top of the apples, and bake as instructed. If you do not have apple cider, reduced apple juice may be used as a substitute: Simmer 1 cup apple juice in a small saucepan over medium heat until reduced to 1/2 cup (about 10 minutes).

6. Serve the pie warm or at room temperature with vanilla ice cream or whipped cream. Use a combination of sweet, crisp apples such as Golden Delicious and firm, tart apples such as Cortland or Empire.

7. Keys to a flaky, flavorful pie:
1. Caramelize Apples: Precook apples in butter to deepen their flavor.
2. Add Cider: Coat apples with 1/2 cup apple cider to create juicy, flavorful filling.
3. Cut Dough: Score before baking to allow juices to bubble up and caramelize around edges. 4. Bake in Hot Oven: Precooked apples need less time in oven than traditional apple pie.

I really like NPR. Funny how they have the best recipes...

Thoughts of Thanksgivings past...

I remember:

Graduating from the kids table to the grown-ups table- and sort of missing the cut-ups of my cousins.

The Yeast Roll Forward Pass, Leaf Pile Jump and Pie Scramble.

The annual Uncle Remote Control Championship Arm Wrestling match- winner gets to pick the game they watch.

Having a Color! TV! to watch- even if it was a boring old football game, it was cool.

The aunts plotting their Black Friday shopping strategy around the dining room table.

The Great Dressing Debate- rice or cornbread?

The flood of cousins chasing around the house, causing Mama to start cussing in French. She never cussed, so it was really scary when she did.

The inevitable scream from Mama when one of the cousins brought in an Unapproved or Forbidden Critter into Mama's parlor. One year, it was a crayfish. Another year, it was a snake. A tiny little green snake, but it was still a SNAAAAAAKE!!! Get that goddamn thing OUT of my HOUSE NOW, do you HEAR ME?!??!

7 cousins, my cassette recorder, a blank tape and a microphone. Comedy gold. (Wish I had the tape...)

Those are the traditions I remember fondly. Sadly, most of those places are gone, and the people who maintained them are either deceased or scattered by the double-blow of hurricanes Katrina and Rita. Rita destroyed my grandparents' house, and those of several of my aunts, uncles, and cousins. One cousin lost his whole town- Cameron, LA.

Sad, really- but I'll never forget the Rules? What Rules? croquet games we used to play, and how one cousin had to crawl under the house in his best clothes to get a stray ball. He crawled out really fast, because there was a big snake under there! We still laugh about that to this day.

While working out yesterday, I listened to and joined a conversation about "Black Friday". For my non-US readers, "Black Friday" is the day after Thanksgiving (today) which officially kicks off the Christmas retail season. It's called "Black Friday" because retailers whose revenues might have been in the 'red' often make enough money to put them back in the 'black'.

It is also a real frenzy of ads, very early openings, crushing crowds, thrown elbows and general craziness.

When I worked retail, I was required to be at my store at 0430 for a 0600 opening the first year, and the next year, they opened an hour earlier. I remember wading through a group of people camped out on our porch as I entered the shop at that ungodly hour, with more in their cars in the parking lot, waiting and staying warm.

And as the opening time approached, the growing crowd would start leaning on the door- looking for all intents and purposes like a hungry beast. And when we opened the doors, they would dash into the store at a full run, and if you were in the way, you would get trampled. Some of these runners were rather large in size and that scared the crap out of me.

It was awful- those fifteen hour days are seared on my memory forever. I am glad I do not have to deal with that any more.

And I really don't deal with Black Friday any more, either, because I've discovered that for the person who is persistent and consistent, and who has become friendly with the Small God Bargainia, deals can be found any time, anywhere.

Black Friday is for amateurs and dilettantes. Serious shoppers might partake, but who likes crowds? I don't - but I'm one of those strange shoppers who doesn't even like having another person in the same aisle with me, unless they are a certain distance from me. I call it 'minimum safe shopper distance'. It means that I sometimes end up orbiting an aisle more than a few times waiting for someone to pull their head out and move on, but hey, that's the way I roll my cart. I've learned the times when shops are emptier, and shop then.

But I digress. Last year, a security guard at a Wal-Mart was killed by a stampede of shoppers on Black Friday. That really disturbed me in a very deep way.

This guy died for stuff. His death was the result of rampant greed, false beliefs, and utter cluelessness. Sure, an $18 microwave is a great deal, but is it worth dying over? Is a computer, or a flat-panel TV or game system worth getting seriously injured, crushed, or even killed to possess?

No. It's just stuff. Stuff that will be in the landfill before you know it. Stuff that cost more to make and own than it's really worth.

Don't get me wrong- I like cool stuff as much as the next person, but I stopped giving- and getting- Stuff for Christmas over a decade ago. I declared a moratorium on gifts for the holiday- I did not want anything, thank you. Sure, a gift certificate would be nice- but even that is more than what I need.

I don't even think in terms of 'what I want' for Christmas any more- because 'want' and 'Christmas' clang so badly in my head. It's gotten to where I have to suppress the urge not to snap at my sister when she asks that question- because she still forgets that I no longer consider the holiday a valid one. It's become a noisy, tinsel-ridden, bloated mess, and I don't want to get mixed up in it.

So, tomorrow, I won't be lined up at any shop at opening hour. I might poke my nose into the local kitchen store- if I remember to- because I do need some more storage bins. I might nose around Walgreens- because I like their Dutch cookies, and always bring a tin to work to share. I might even go to the grocery store to get the ingredients for my Oatmeal Chocolate Cherry cookies. If I remember to.

But my sister and I will indulge in something we've done for three years now- the Black Friday Flea Market Crawl. If we have to Buy Stuff, why not buy stuff that isn't brand new, or needs a home? Why not benefit the local community, instead of big corporations? Why not stay away from the shoving crowds and enjoy the dust and jumble of Perfectly Good Stuff in its natural environment.

I probably won't purchase anything- my budget got whacked this week due to my new glasses I'm getting, and it will be whacked next pay period too- for the same thing. Yes, I splurged on some way-cool new glasses. I'm changing my 'look'. You'll like it.

I'll look at the ads in that huge paper. I'll even poke around online for stuff I need- and if the deal is good enough- like it was for my Nokia Web Tablet 2 years ago- I'll get it. I don't mind waiting for it to come in the mail. But I won't go to the mall. It's the principle of the thing.

Happy Thanksgiving, and stay safe!

Dear Lord,
Every single evening
As I'm lying here in bed,
This tiny little Prayer
Keeps running through my head:
God bless all my family
Wherever they may be,
Keep them warm
and safe from harm
For they're so close to me.

And God, there is one more thing
I wish that you could do;
Hope you don't mind me asking,
Please bless my computer too.
( Read more... )

I've been following a talented and evocative singer-songwriter named Christopher Dallman on Twitter. He's got an emotional resonance to his music and a crisp presence to his voice that is really hard to honestly describe- intense without being overblown or overwhelming. But it will kick you right in the heart nonetheless.

His latest EP, "Sad Britney", four covers of popular Britney Spears songs, was released on iTunes today, and as of a few minutes ago, was up to #6 on their downloads.

I think it'll go higher.

I'm not a Britney fan, but Chris' treatment of these songs brings an intensity to them that makes them magnetic. My favorite is "Baby One More Time", which features Chris' guitar and a lovely horn that really add power to the music. But the other three tracks are also worth your time and ears- you can listen to them and download them at his site:

http://www.chrisdallman.com/

Go on. Do it. You'll love it.

I knew it would happen- it's one of those things that is relatively common with people who have albinism. We have to suffer enough with no depth perception, and some of us with near-blindness and other wonkiness in our vision, but there are things that tend to develop with us more quickly than with the general pigmented population.

I'm talking about cataracts. And yes, I'm developing one in my right eye- which will need surgical intervention within 5 years. My retinas are fine- my visual acuity is as good as it's ever been, but my eyes were vulnerable to cataracts because of their partial pigmentation. (If you look at that shot of my eye in the icon, you can see where the lack of pigmentation creates a lighter colored 'sunburst' around the pupil of my eye.)

What I thought was a dimming in my right eye is the cataract. My eye doctor doesn't seem terribly worried about it- he didn't even dialate or do much other than shine that painful blue light into my eye and say, 'yes, you've got a cataract, let's come back in a year and monitor it'. Apparently replacing the lens is relatively easy- he does the surgery, and told me that he replaced fifteen of them the day before. It almost sounds as easy as plugging in an SD card- and he can even build in focusing elements for me. That's way cool, and god knows what they'll have in five years, but it's still surgery. On my damn eye.

And, easy as it might be, it's still a sign that I am getting older, and that my albinism does have a heavy price. I expect that when I see the dermatologist in a couple of weeks, he'll have a field day with me, too. If you don't have melanin, melanomas do not look like melanomas. I plan to go over myself the night before and draw circles around all the odd looking spots I have. He'll probably laugh, but that's OK. I want him to look at every dumb little thing I draw a ring around.

Albinism sucks, y'all. Sure, I lucked out and can see well enough to drive, and my 'type' is 'yellow' rather than stark white, but it's still not pleasant at times.

Take care of your eyes, ears and your skin. Stay well.

Every year, I roll out my recipes for most excellent holiday omm-noms. Here are links to my hits of holidays past:

Eggnog of Doom
Oatmeal Chocolate Cherry Cookies
French Toast Casserole
Sweet and Sour Braised Cabbage
Bananas Foster and Cherries Jubilee
Arkansas Corn, Crab, and Catfish Chowder
Shrimp Cheese Grits
Stuck in the house? Need to figure out what to make with what you have on hand? Plug the ingredients into this search engine, and it'll cough up some recipe ideas for you.

Winnie & Jerry's Chewy Ginger Snaps

Ingredients:
-- 0.75 cup shortening
-- 0.5 cup brown sugar
-- 0.5 cup sugar
-- 0.25 cup molasses (plus a little extra)
-- 1 egg
-- 2.25 cups sifted all-purpose flour
-- 2 teaspoons baking soda
-- 0.5 teaspoon salt
-- 1 teaspoon ground ginger*
-- 1 teaspoon ground cinnamon
-- 0.5 teaspoon ground cloves

*For more ginger flavor, you can add crystallized ginger.

Directions:

-- Cream shortening, sugar, molasses and egg until fluffy
-- Sift together flour, soda, salt, and spices
-- Stir into molasses mixture
-- Form into balls and roll in bowl of sugar
-- Place on greased cookie sheet
-- Bake in 375 degree oven and remove before they look done

I miss CDs. Yes, they can still be found in shops, but more and more, the CD department is shrinking away- being replaced by DVDs and Blu-Ray movies that I do not have a means to play- yet. Gone are the days where I'd spend an hour or two browsing music in B&N or Hastings, listening to samples, picking out things to take home and enjoy. In the USAF, I'd buy several CDs per payday, rapidly building a still-formidible library.

I really miss liner notes- learning who did what, reading lyrics, finding out what equipment and instruments were used. I'm a techie, and I like stuff like that. Downloads don't give you stuff like that, sad to say. A whole slice of musical experience is gone.

While I like the 'instant gratification' of downloading music, I miss the whole tactile element of getting a stack of music, unwrapping it and reading the notes, loading it into the player (or cartridges) and listening to it on high-quality equipment. Zach Quinto also lamented that same thing in an interview on MTV- how fun it was to go to Tower Records and bring home a stack of music to unwrap and enjoy. I wonder if he misses that? Perhaps so.

I do not have an iPod or large drive MP3 player- yet. Haven't decided which one to get. For one, I am not a 'headset' person- except when I travel. I have to hear where I am- it's that PTSD vigilance thing at work. People with headphones are targets. At home, I can listen through good speakers- don't need headphones.

I'm starting to get into downloading. I've been downloading artists I'm able to talk to and follow in their blogs- like Christopher Dallman and Archy & Mehitabel. This is a facet to music that I've not explored- actual interaction with the artists themselves. Audiophile that I am, it's fun discovering and helping to spread the word about musicians I come across. Perhaps that is the trade-off: instead of CDs in some sort of displaced vacuum without context on a store shelf, waiting for a lucky catch, I am now seeing a whole new facet- that of the artists themselves- with the music at the end instead of the beginning.

This could be fun. The artists themselves are the liner notes- and now I get it straight from them. I now read their blogs, watch their videos, and listen to their process directly, instead of filtered through promotional layers, washed clean of any real depth.

Interesting.

Thirty years ago today, at about 0630 in the morning, I officially ended my childhood and became an independent adult. That was the time when the USAF recruiter's van pulled into my driveway, and I got in, dressed in an awkward corduroy suit that was ruined in the laundry later that week. I was driven to Little Rock, where I was sworn in, then put on a nasty Braniff jet headed to San Antonio. The next eight weeks were my Basic Training, and I spent Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Years at Lackland, before being transferred to Keesler AFB at Biloxi for further training.

I remember us having our Thanksgiving early- my maternal grandparents even came out for the occasion, along with one uncle- to properly launch me into the world. I was the oldest child, and it was difficult for my mother to see me leave. I remember my brother hanging onto me, begging me not to go.

I had to. I was just barely nineteen, had just spent a miserable summer in California with an aunt bent on turning me into a clone of herself and fixing me up with anyone with a 'y' chromosone. I was not allowed to leave her house without a ton of horrible makeup on, and itchy polyester clothes with 'accessories' that she'd gotten for me. I hated every second of it- especially her and my uncle's lectures about 'throwing away "Star Wars" and growing up'.

The hell...

I know she spent a lot of money on me for the makeup and the other things, but I did not bring any of it with me when I left home. I might had been young, but I knew what I liked- and Merle Norman wasn't on the list, nor Mary Kay, Avon, or anyone else. As for "Star Wars" and my love of SF in general- why should I give up or throw away things that made me friends and were actually interesting to me?

I made it through basic and tech school, and into the early roomate-ridden years of my military career. I discovered the occult section of bookstores- sections that did not exist at bookstores where I'd lived- and the wonder of having a paycheck I could use to indulge my whims with. I also learned how to 'read' and deal with men who did not understand what 'no' meant, and backstabbing women who valued me only as a soundboard or someone to step on. I was very glad to graduate to having my own quarters- and had my own place once I went overseas.

But I've been on my own, independent and employed for 30 years- with one year of relative inactivity- a sabbatical, if you will- in 1993. I look back at those years- especially at this last decade, where I've clawed my way out of poverty and into near-middle class, and remember that I did this on my own. I made the choices, paid the price, reaped the benefits and the consequences.

I hope that the next 30 years will be better for me.

Taken today. It's my reflection in a giant Christmas ornament.

Happy Veterans Day to everyone. I took this photo of Red Square in Moscow in May of 1993, several months after my service in the US Air Force ended.

I'm a Cold War and Desert Storm veteran. We used to joke about how our jobs would end- would we be nuked like "The Day After", or would the Iron Curtain rust out, peace break out, and we all get fired?

Ironically, it was the latter that happened-I was honorably discharged from the Air Force in 1993. As most of you know, it took me nearly a decade to find my feet- having to move back in with my parents, and working piddly-ass jobs until I finally scratched my way to where I am now. I still have a ways to go, but I am better off than I was a decade ago.

Going to Moscow, visiting Red Square and the Kremlin (the place that President Reagan had memorably called "The Evil Empire") and all the places we'd only read about or heard about was a real treat for me. I got to stand in a place that just a few years before- I was prohibited from ever seeing. I got to speak to ordinary people, including fellow veterans (it was their Veterans day when I was there), and give (and take) toasts to peace, prosperity and possibilities. Our former enemy was now just another country, trying to get a leg up in the world.

On this day, combat veterans get most of the well-deserved attention. But let's not forget those of us who kept the lights on during the Cold War, and who saw 3AM far more times than we care to remember, worked the long and silent night shifts, flew back and forth to Berlin 3 times a day, and kept the lines of communication up and running, and standing fast. "The Day After" scared the crap out of us. And I am glad that never happened.

Karen Armstrong is a very interesting writer. She has written many books about religion and faith- particularly the Abrahamic faiths. I have "The Battle for God" (which is about fundementalism), and am going to pick up her latest book, "The Case for God".

Now why the heck would a zetectically oriented skeptic like me be interested in something defending 'A Case for God', when I've stated my position on the concept of "god/s/"? Because Armstrong digs down through the noise and gets to the signal- that of Mythos and Logos- which are not mutually exclusive, but which must have their own existences in order for society to function in a healthy manner. The modern religious mixture and distortion of both concepts has not been a healthy thing. It was Armstrong who clarified these things.

This Fresh Air with Terry Gross Fresh Air interview</a> was what initially pricked my interest. After all, Zetectics require the burden of proof to be upon the claimant, and I always listen to rational argument. Here it was.

Then, AlterNet posted an article from a Daily Kos writer about this latest book, too. Here is an excerpt:

[...]We've turned "myth" into another word for fantasy, or lie. In doing so:

We lost the art of interpreting the old tales of gods walking the earth, dead men striding out of tombs, or seas parting miraculously. We began to understand concepts such as faith, revelation, myth, mystery, and dogma in a way that would have been very surprising to our ancestors.

In particular, the concept of faith comes in for a close examination. We understand faith today as a kind of blind acceptance -- like Indiana Jones stepping off into space in his quest for the Holy Grail. Religious people cheer this kind of "faith" and many Christians tout this as the one and only qualification to be among Christ's chosen. But that's not what the word translated as "faith" meant in Biblical times. It's not even what it meant when the Bible was first translated into English.

The term used in most New Testament texts (the Greek word pistis) meant something closer to loyalty or commitment, than unreasoning belief. When Jesus chastised his followers for their lack of faith, or commended a non-Jew for having faith, he wasn't talking about some unspoken creed. He certainly wasn't praising them for seeing that he was divine. He was talking about follow-through, about living up to ideas of selflessness and humbleness. Even the word "belief" has changed from a Middle English sense of "prize" to our modern idea of "accept at face value." Imagine how different every Christian creed would sound today if we replace "believe in" with "value" and "have faith in" with "commit myself to."

That's the meat of the matter, wouldn't you say? And it is the number one fundamental reason why I cannot bear the blatherings of the lot of modern TrueBelievers™- because they have heavily degraded and undermined the actual meaning and understanding of the words 'faith' and 'belief'. And it is why I have adopted a very rigorously skeptical attitude about all things religious- to scrape that corruptive layer of modern blindness and willful ignorance off of a valuable concept.

I like the original kernel of the word 'belief'- it makes much more logical sense to me than the current degraded meaning. And it made me think about what I valued- my concept and theory of Small Gods, for instance. Yes, it is a relatively radical concept, but it holds its own, and without the noise and fear of conventional modern 'belief'.

I like learning about ancient religious concepts and how modern culture has changed things. It helps to get to the root of ideas and understand where things came from In that, Armstrong has not disappointed me yet. I slot her ideas into my mind- right in between the ravings of both the TrueBelievers™ and the TrueUnbelievers™.

"There's no room for demons when you're self possessed"

--Carrie Fisher

My last post sure had a lot of people checking in- it's clear that certain religious sects have their very own parallel universes with demons under ever rock, bed, and inside every closet and bag of candy. These folks truly are 'demon-haunted', in the words of the late Carl Sagan.

A week or so ago, I found another article on the same subject- ghosts, demons, and even gods. It talks about 'hungry ghosts' and people who actually feed them.

Gathering of Ghosts and Demons

Show me a culture without ghosts and spirits, and I’ll show you an alien culture—something not of this Earth—because stories of things spooky and strange, seen and unseen, are found everywhere, in all belief systems. And the explanations of such haunting phenomena are as varied as the cultures that give birth to these magical stories.

The banshees of Ireland and the Scottish highlands, who warn families of impending death with otherworldly cries and laments, are thought to be the ghosts of women who died in childbirth. The Japanese yurei, also female ghosts, are trapped by powerfully gripping emotions in an intermediate state between life and death. In the Voudon tradition of Haiti, zombies are acknowledged to be reanimated corpses brought back to a kind of life by skilled magicians. And of course, there are the countless stories of vampires who suck the life force from their victims—perhaps a reflection of the universal experience of being around people who drain us of our energy?

So it comes as no surprise that the world of Tibetan Buddhism is populated with its share—if not more than its share!—of ghosts, demons, ghouls, and otherworldly beings. What is different in the Buddhist tradition, however, is the explanation of these phenomena.

One of the best windows into the sometimes-spooky world of Tibetan Buddhism was opened to us by the Tibetan woman, Machik Labdron (or Machig Lapdron), who lived in the 11th century. Machik, whose name means “One Mother,” fused the Indian Buddhist tradition of chod with her own visionary experiences to create a special practice, the Chod of Mahamudra.

The most spectacular part of the practice, lu jin or “charity of the body,” is an eerie visualization that involves offering one’s own body as food for worldly and otherworldly beings—an extreme, supreme act of generosity. The aims of the practice, however, are eminently practical: to benefit other beings and to overcome the self-fixation that Buddhists hold to be the source of so many of our problems.

I cannot imagine the 'demon-haunted' even starting to grasp what the implications of such a practice might be. Tibetian Buddhism has plenty of really scary characters- gods and demons of all sorts, with many different powers and demands. But if you step back far enough- their characteristics start to actually merge, and then- the light goes on:

This emphasis on demons and ghouls in Machik’s practice is no accident—it’s quite deliberate, because directly facing what terrifies us is one way we can awaken from our ignorance, one way we can realize the unbounded wisdom and compassion that are our birthrights as beings who possess, hidden deep in our hearts, the very same nature as the buddhas.

There is a famous story about Milarepa, another Tibetan Buddhist saint who was, coincidentally (or not!), a contemporary of Machik Labdron’s.

Tseringma and her four sisters were female deities. When they first met Milarepa they tried to scare him and they did all kinds of magic tricks to try to frighten Milarepa, but Milarepa was never frightened. He knew that these demons were like demons in a dream when you know you are dreaming. He did not take them to be truly existent and so then they were so impressed with Milarepa that they developed faith in him. They became his students; they became his Dharma Protectors, the protectors of his teachings and they also offered Milarepa siddhis, special powers…

But that is the difference between demons when you don’t know their true nature and demons when you do know their true nature. They go from being malicious to being protectors.

In the end, in fact, there is no such thing as a demon. That is what you recognize in a dream when you dream of a demon and you know you are dreaming. You recognize that there really is no demon there. That is the ultimate nature. There is neither any deity that helps you nor any demon that harms you. Sometimes these supernatural beings are called god demons because if they like you they are like a god and if they do not like you they are like a demon. They can decide. But when you recognize you are dreaming it does not matter what they appear to be. You know their true nature.4

So in the Vajrayana—the form of Buddhism taught in Tibet—we learn that the appearance of demons and ghouls, when not seen through, is a mara or obstacle to enlightenment. Seen through—when we experience our minds directly—these same demons and ghouls become protectors (dharmapalas) and sources of spiritual powers (siddhis) and realization.

Apparitions of male and female demons and ghouls
For as long as your guise has not been seen through are maras.
Obstacle-makers who nothing but trouble spell
If their guise is seen through obstructors are dharmapalas
A hot bed of siddhis of such a variety
In the end, in fact, there are neither gods nor goblins. [emphasis mine --ed]
Let concepts go as far as they go and no more.
This is as far as they go and no more, he said.5

The appearance of demons and ghouls is, finally, revealed as nothing other than the self-projection of our own minds.

How precious now the idea of seeing a ghost.
It reveals the unborn source, how strange and amazing!6

Happy Samhain/Halloween to everyone! Hope you all have a lot of fun this year. However, with the spooky fun, there's the usual mush-mash of misinformation we have to wade through- from the usual sources.

This is a real article. The Bad Astronomer was the one who dug it up, that bad boy. I'm not directly linking to it, because I don't want to give the original author any excuse to launch a swarm of wasps or prayers for my 'salvation' my way. But I had to quote it. It was too good awful fucked up hilarious to let sit and fester without some sort of balancing attention. People really believe this stuff, and they are fortunate that their heads don't explode from the sheer amassment of deliberate ignorance that is propogated.

Don't believe me? Read this for yourself. ( cut to spare friends list )

One of my readers remarked in the post below that the insistence on using sage as a means of purifying celebrants in Wiccan (and other) ceremonies hearkens back to some of modern Wicca's roots in Native American teachings Yes- there was cross-pollination. Ernest Thomson Seton brought Woodcraft rituals based on Native American ceremonies to Gerald Gardener, who happily wove them into his burgeoning Wicca craft.

The smudge stick was probably mixed in there, although I believe that it might have more recent roots.

Anyway, I digress.

So many people are allergic to sage smoke that it makes sense to perhaps consider eliminating it from ceremonial use- unless you're an actual Native American holy person doing an actual Native American ceremony.

Wicca claims to be a living faith, so it's realistic to consider substituting something more contemporary and maybe even capable of actually removing negative energies from peoples' auras.

The feather fan comes to mind as a first choice- the fine tendrils of fluffy feathers create a static field that can comb through an aura and sweep away the nasty bits.

A balloon arch where the balloons have been thoroughly dusted with a silk cloth to enable their static charge is another idea.

And for the more technologically oriented among us, an ion gun is also a good instrument- as it also generates a field of negative ions that do the same thing.

And where can you find an ion gun? Well, with the return of vinyl to the market, the need to carefully clean the records is also returning- and my old Discwasher kit, with its cleaning fluid and velvet pad is suddenly popular again. The deluxe kit has an ion gun- which you squeeze above a record to remove the static. I use it to de-fuse the static electricity in my cats' fur in the winter. Watching the fluffed fur fall into its proper place when the static is removed is always fun to watch.

So, yes- should I do another circle, you're going to have my Discwasher ion gun squeezed above your head to rain down negative ions which will disperse the nasties. I am a TechMage, after all!

Although I am currently 'retired' from doing public ritual, this part of the year is full of folks doing all sorts of ceremonial things- cumulating next Saturday with one of the major holidays of the Wheel- Samhain. I'm going to host an ordinary party that night, hospitality being my offering to Them- but I know that many people will be doing other things.

I've written on my old website about ritual safety, but my friend jenett has managed to write something even better, and definitely tuned to this decade's vibe. Here's her take on ritual safety: I've excerpted a few things to whet your appetite.

Thoughts from a Threshold: A question of safety

In various parts of the Pagan community, we do things that have some greater risks. Burning incense? That adds a possible allergen or irritant to the air. If, like me, you’re asthmatic, that can be a problem in the wrong circumstances. Dancing? Easy for someone to twist an ankle. Outside for ritual? What happens if it turns cold and damp and people aren’t prepared? Or what happens if it’s 95 degrees and blindingly sunny out? (See Jim’s posts on hypothermia and hyperthermia for examples.)

There’s riskier stuff, too. Deep experiences of Drawing Down (having the deity speak through the body of the priestess or priest involved) can be a powerful and amazing ritual experience for everyone involved, but it has psychological and physical risks in various ways. (Deities, in my experience, don’t always get why something might be dangerous or uncomfortable or inappropriate for the body they’re inhabiting.) And many of our deeper ritual techniques are designed to poke at the areas we feel uncomfortable about, so we can better examine them and make changes we feel are necessary.

There are reasons to court these risks – just like there are reasons we choose to get in a car or plane, to eat food from a variety of sources, to do all sorts of things. But we should, ideally, do two things.

1) Have some idea of what the risks are (so we can make an informed choice)

2) Have some idea how to limit or mitigate the risks.
***

Look for warning signs.

Once you’ve looked at the specifics, look one more time for any warning signs. The following are things I’d have concerns about:

Language about ‘pushing through discomfort into change’, especially if it’s got a very macho ‘no gain without pain’ thing going along with it. Yes, pushing through discomfort can be important, but only if you’re still able to function at the end of it.

One size fits all settings. Sufficiently safe settings will have some options available (and clearly noted) that can be used if the basic practice isn’t accessible or safe for everyone. (Or, they’ll be really clear up front about what’s involved, and what people should be prepared to deal with.)

For example, a ritual with a lot of movement or dancing might arrange some spaces for people to sit or stand while drumming, clapping, or anchoring a chant. That’s participating, but gives options besides the most physically demanding option. Or a ritual may say “We’re going to be outside, standing and moving around for 3-4 hours in cold weather and probably wind on a steep slope. This is not a good ritual for people with mobility issues. Be sure to bring suitable warm clothing for several hours outside.”

Vague and general information. Me, I trust the announcements with specifics a lot more. The more vague something is, the more wary I get. Thorn’s announcement would not have been enough for me *except* that I had other ways of checking on what kinds of activities were likely to arise.

Inadequate (or inadequately trained) staff/people running the thing. Do the people helping know enough about what they’re doing to actually be helpful? Do they have relevant religious, professional, or other training that helps manage any risks or deal with problems? (Lots of previous experience with few problems is usually a good starting point, but it’s not the only thing to look for.)

Language about how those who are truly committed to the experience will be fine. This is often a mask for ‘if you got hurt, it’s because you didn’t want it enough/weren’t ready for the experience’. In most settings the cost of failure should not be lasting damage, it should be that you just don’t get much out of the experience.

Isolation from people who know you well. This can sometimes happen for good reason – a weekend festival or event that you go to by yourself, for example. However, you’re a lot more at risk of something heading out of balance here, than at a shorter event (where you go home to familiar space and resources), or if you go to something with a couple of friends who know you and your normal reactions really well. In either case, you’ll catch possible problems more quickly.

4) Be aware of the power of pressure.

It’s possible in some situations for there to be a feeling that one has to measure up, or meet certain benchmarks in order to be taken seriously. These are some of the most serious risks out there, partly because they’re very hard to avoid. They can crop up otherwise quite safe settings, or start as a game.

Knowing that it’s a possibility, however, helps. Doing some reading about how crowd psychology works does too. It doesn’t mean it’ll be easy to walk off and do your own thing when you need to – but knowing your own particular weak points means you can protect them a little more diligently.

For example, one response I have to my asthma is wanting to push through it and not let my lungs determine what I do. The problem is that’s not always good for me. Over the years, I’ve learned how to say “Sorry, can’t do that today” in situations where there was very little pressure, and little to be lost by saying it (walking with a friend, and asking to walk a bit more slowly, or avoid a particularly steep hill). That practice makes it easier for me to say it when the stakes are higher (being at a work event when a lot of outdoor walking is involved, and advocating for some different ways to approach it that also benefit students with medical limits in various ways.) And that makes it easier for me to quietly find an alternative in ritual if I’m not up for dancing, but that still lets me contribute, like at a Pagan ritual.

5) Listen to your intuition

If something feels off, ask more questions, or just plain don’t do that thing right now. Other chances will come around that will be similar. Do some more research, find people who’ve done it where you can ask any questions. Do some learning about specific components you may be concerned about. You’ll be better informed for the next time.

Jenett plans to post Part 2 of this article sometime late tomorrow, she hopes. And she wants it to be widely distributed- so get with it!

naamah_darling has written a thought provoking post about wolves, women, and the misinterpretation of 'love'.

Of Wolves and Women

Go check it out.